Despite all that moves in the other direction, even amidst a world with a fast pace to a certain, yet unknown destination, I feel compelled to slow down and pay attention.  I find myself noticing things for the very first time, whether it is the refreshing scent of my fingers after peeling an orange, or something deep within myself that I never saw before. In each new environment, each new moment, what I always come back to is a new understanding of myself. It's as if all that is around me, the people, places, events, and opportunities, are all mirrors showing me different pieces of myself. How I respond to these outer experiences reflects where I am with myself.  Do I react quickly out of a place of anger? Or do I stay present and aware, breathing and coming back to love? Do I make assumptions, or do I ask questions to seek understanding? Do I criticize and/or judge myself, or do feel trust and confidence in myself?  Asking questions like these has helped me to understand myself in a way that is deep, vast and enlivening.

As a new year begins to unfold around us, I embrace this opportunity to check in with myself'; look at the different parts of my life and notice what's there.  Letting go of the reflex to judge or criticize, and just embrace all that I am.  With a deep and grounded relationship with myself, I choose new commitments that I feel will support my growth, and I re-evaluate old patterns that may be stifling me.

Remembering I can always come back to breath, connect in with what I feel my Source is and know it is all good. Life is not something to move through with fear, anger or misery.  Life is to be loved, and we are meant to love.

Like I tree, I yearn to for strong roots, connecting me to my Source.  With a sturdy trunk, helping me to stand tall. With branches that reach up, up, up, stretching towards the light without a question or doubt as to where or how. If an acorn ever knew the job that lay ahead, do you think it would believe it would grow into an Oak tree?

In gratitude to all of you for moving along your journeys, spreading you love and light.  Shine on. 

May we slowly dissolve the world we've created that separates us from Divinity and connect closer to the miracle of life that connects us all as  
one human family.

We are the light of the world.

Within me, the smolding embers ignite.

Passion lights up my soul,

sparks my spirit.

I will not stifle it.

I will not smother it.

I will nurture the burning yearning.

I will set free my firey essence.

Shine, shine shine. 

For that is why we are here.

To light up ourselves,

to light up the world.

It's all a matter of...

Through confusion comes breakthrough. Confusion is a good word to describe my current state of mind.  To me, admitting confusion allows room for curiousity, learning and growth. I am experiencing all of these at such a rapid, transforming rate, that it's hard to keep up with it all.  In fact, something I've realized is that my experience with what is unfolding around me is not altered whether or not I capture it in writing.  I used to worry that if I didn't take pictures, I wouldn't remember the experience.  I've found that if I stop worrying about capturing the moments, I experience a much richer feeling of presence that is far more fulfilling than a photo album.  Not to say, of course, that I don't thoroughly enjoy a nice photo album. 

Hm, I wondered how I would start this one.  I didn't know it'd go quite like that.  Anyways, I'm feeling a sense of momentum here that I've been missing, so I'm just going to roll with it.  Perspective, detachment and expectation are these heavy concepts, or rather words that represent heavy concepts, which I have been exploring. By exploring I mean life has smacked me with an experience, event, person, challenge, or all of the above, so that I learn a very valuable lesson. A lesson that helps me peel back layers of conditioning so that I may continue to tap deeper into my Self.  A lesson that opens my heart, stretches my soul and gives my spirit room to flurish.  A lesson that sometimes comes at some cost of heartache, sadness, or frustration, but leaves me with confidence, clarity, and wisdom.

Walking down the street in San Francisco I noticed a sign on a brick building that had two phrases on it.  One phrase was written right-side-up and read: Love will free your soul. Underneath that, and written upside down it read: Love will only break your heart..  I found that in order to read the phrase that was upside down I had to stop and cock my head to the side. I stood there like that and read the phrase outloud - can you just visualize that for a moment? It dawned on me: It all depends on how you look at it.

Our perspective shapes our interaction with the world around us and we have the ability to shape our it.  Our perspective is actually made up of the millions of pieces of who we are: our past experiences, our old habits, our fears, and our expectations. Perspective is the crows nest on the vessel we steer through life. It is our outlook to the world.  Taking time to think about and explore your perspective is a hugely rewarding practice.  I have found that it's helped me truly identify patterns that weave through my life. It has also helped me see that happiness truly is a choice, and fun really is a feeling. Once we create some space to explore perspective, we realize we can shift our perspective.  Once we shift our perspective, of course, things start to look different.  Things eventually become different and change is created.  Perspective. It is truly the catalyst to coming into the present moment and beginning to understand the choices we have in our interaction with the world around us, our relationships with ourselves and the people around us, our level of fulfillment from the things we do, and the fullness to which we get to know ourselves.

Through confusion comes breakthroughs.  Surrender to the unknown occasionally, revel in curiousity, exercise your imagination.

A kind reminder.

Okay I've been a little distracted lately, in fact this is my third attempt at a beginning here.  I'm trying to hard to be poetic and it's really hanging me up. Fortunately, what I've realized  is that it isn't necessary for me to doll this up and put a silver lining on it.  My purpose is share my experiences with you, because I know we are on this journey together and we can learn from each other. If you are choosing to come here, spend time with me, and allowing me to share with you, then somewhere in your consciousness you are already aware of your evolution.  You are already transforming. Shedding layers of old conditioning so you may step into your full Self and live life at your fullest expression.  A reminder.  That's what this is all about, remembering who we are and why we are here.  

Anyways, here we are and I'm so glad you came.  I've been a little resistant to sitting and writing lately and I think it's because I've been so inundated with learning, I've been a bit intimidated by the task of articulating it.  Like I said, I was trying to think of an elequent, eye-catching start, but really I just want to cut right to the chase:
Life will always give us exactly what we need when we need it.  We have created the reality we live in, and we have the power to change it.  Look aroung you. Everything in your reality is there because you manifested it.  You asked for it, prayed for it, worked towards it, or feared.  Life give us exactly what we need to continue to evolve, and we are either open to it or we aren't.  I have been learning so much, I couldn't even begin to try to explain it.  It wouldn't matter much anyways, because the lessons life is teaching me wouldn't necessarily aid you in your personal journey.  We're heading in the same direction of course, but we our needs are quite unique.  So what life is giving me and teaching me of course resonates so deeply with me and I want to rush back here and tell you all about it, but then I remember that it will serve you in a different way, or possibly not at all.  I think more than anything I've realized that taking time to ask ourselves questions is often very difficult, but usually very helpful.  So in finally creating the space to come be with you, I want to pose some questions, stir up thoughts, and possibly shed some new perspective on things.  That's what this all comes down to anyways right? Perspective.  And of course our attachments to things.  Our expectations of ourselves and others.  What does all of this mean to you? What is your perspective? What has shaped that perspective? What is your first thought in the morning? Those first few moments when we are just coming back into our physical consciousness after hours of exisiting in our subconscious.  It can be a very vulnerable time, and we sometimes miss it all together by waking up to a blaring alarm clock and rushing out of bed.  I don't know about you, but sometimes it takes me several moments to even realize where I am in the morning.  I sometimes wake up feeling lingering emotions from my dreams, and sometimes I wake up laughing.  We know very little about where we go when we dream, or maybe some people know lots about it - I know very little.  But I do know that those first few moments in the morning have the potential to set us up for our whole day.  What are those moments like for you?

You see, so many people (including myself) have gone far and wide searching for answers. We read all sorts of books, buy all sorts of gear, look to teachers, gurus and guides hoping to get answers.  The answers, of course, are within you, have always been within you, and will always be within you. We just need to remember to ask questions. Be curious.  Life will give us exactly what we need, if we are open to recieving it. 

The patterns woven into our tapestry of life.

There's no doubt that something has been keeping me away.  I keep finding excuses to avoid writing and I'm not sure why.  I think maybe it's because I'm aware of the density of what I've been experiencing and I'm slightly daunted by the task of trying to articulate myself using the English language.  Lately I've been able to express myself through dance, prayer, meditation, and conversation.  Writing has been a medium I've been avoiding. 

Alas, life has settled in around me in a way that allows for so much reflection, so much learning and for that I am so deeply grateful. So here I am, driven by the desire to share with you what I've been learning in the hopes that it stokes your own beautiful flames.  

As of late, I've been recognizing the patterns that are woven into my life; noticing habits that have formed over time. I've been taking a look at how these patterns serve me, and how they shape my interaction with the world around me. Patterns of setting expectations.  Patterns of attachment to things, people, experiences places. Patterns of re-acting(which is an action from the past) instead of responding.  Patterns of communcaition with myself and with the world around me.

Recognizing these patterns has been a challenging inward experience for me, during which I've had to face some of my own demons.  Yet, like all that Life gives us, I find the challenge of self-exploration to be a journey of freedom. We are brought into this world that was dreamt up by others.  We exist in a community, society and world that may not jive with our own inner essense. From very early on we are conditioned by the world around us to exist in a certain way.  We form habits and patterns that help (or hinder) our interaction with the world around us.

However, as we journey down our path of awakening, we may realize that these patterns no longer serve us.  They may have helped us survive middle school, or the dinner table, but as unique beings of light and love, it is time to let these patterns go. We are waking up and shaking off those things that hold us back form shining our light.  So I encourage you, my fellow warriors of light, crusading down your own path of awakening, take some time to reflect on your own patterns.  How do you percieve things? How do you communicate with those around you? How do you communicate with yourself? Remember, we create the reality we live in.  By continuing to come from a place of love, gratitude, and generiousity, the world will reflect all of that back to you. We get to choose each day, how we will interact with the people, places, things and experience that happen.  If there is something that is causing static, a feeling of discomfort - perhaps it is a pattern that no longer fits. 

In order to truly shine, we must remember to continue to polish.

Expectation, how do you serve me? You creep into my mind displaying images that do not exist, evoking feelings that are not real, creating shadows of sensations. I attempt to use you as a solid foundation, yet like a castle built on sand, you dissipate in the tide leaving only a faint hint of what how you looked in my mind. I have noticed a deep-seeded pattern with you, Expectation. Or perhaps you are the product of other habits. I create Expectations things, people, places, experiences, without even realizing it sometimes. Then after say, an encounter with someone, or a trip someplace, I'm left with this empty feeling of longing. After exploring this I realize it's because the experience did not match up with how I expected it to be.

Ahh how good it feels to let go of expectations. Of course, it does not matter how I expect things to be, but rather how I experience what is going on around me. 

Have conversations that matter. Even if they are with yourself.

Life presents us with an array of opportunities, experiences, people and places.  There are always many paths to choose from, and yet only one we can venture down.  I find stillness within myself and I breathe.  I remind myself that I create the reality around me, by responding to it in a way that cultivates love, gratitude, light-heartedness, enjoyment, and happiness.  The power that lies within each of us is deeper than we dare to dream.  In each moment we can learn something, grow, find something to be grateful for, and find something to love.  Remember, re-action is utilizing hold habits or patterns, things from the past.  Responding to the present moment is being in the present moment. 

We always have the ability to stop, breathe, and choose love.

Be love.