My life continues to shift in a way I never saw coming.  I continue to deepen my relationship with myself, thus transforming my relationship with the world around me.  I find myself doing things that I have always wanted to do.  My life has come into form in such a way I never thought possible.  That is due, largely in part, because of the generosity of others.  I feel deeply blessed and immensely grateful for the ways I am being supported.  It is making it possible for me to have this unique opportunity of soul-stretching, mind-opening, personal growth.  

Lately, I've been asked different variations of the question, "what are you doing?"  This could elude ro anything from at the current moment, to with my life in general.  In the past I was able to come up with a pretty quick, clear and acceptable answer, "I'm a ________" or "I plan to __________" However, lately these simple, yet loaded questions, have been more difficult for me to answer. To me, it's no mystery what I'm doing.  I am living.  Breathing. Growing.  Learning. Participating in life. Getting to understand myself fully so that I may fully give of myself.  I meditate often, do yoga daily.  I do what probably looks like a whole lot of nothing.  But I tell ya.  The difference in my experience with life in general is entirely different than my life a year ago. There is no need to attempt to embellish or come up with a catchy delivery.  The Truth is fascinating all on it's own.  We allow our own fears to stop us of from living our dreams.  I do.  You probably do.  In someway or another we tell ourselves "we can't" and therefore we don't.  

I started noticing how often I told myself that in the course of a week, a day even.  It was shocking.  After I began to notice this pattern, I began opening to the possibility that perhaps in fact, I can. Suddenly, I realized how powerful this made me.  In exploring this more, I realized that the things I told myself I couldn't do, actually broke down to the things that scare me.  In fact, this shift began taking place in Nepal.  Gosh, many times we had no idea what we were doing. We began our day with no plan, no expectation, and ended it having had the most incredible experiences. I remember discovering a set of stone steps going up a mountain that we had already been hiking up for a while.  We had no clue how high the steps went, or what we would find at the top of them.  We just kept going.  After a while it got soft of meditative.  Step. Step. Step. As we all wondered aloud if we should continue to follow the steps, a group of ancient looking women tromped past us on their way down shouting, "Shiva Puri! Shiva Puri!" waving towards the top of the mountain. They all carried baskets on their heads, some with canes and those with shoes on wore thin sandals. We decided that Shiva Puri must be some beautiful temple at the top of the mountain, which these women just came from, and we would definitely be able to do the hike if these women were on their way down. Step. Step. Step. I remember my legs burning, and even despite a bit of a chill to the air, I took off a layer I had sweat through. The physical challenge was only one piece. Becca burst into tears at one point out of frustration with the uncertainty of whether or not we should continue on.   I told her that I wasn't thinking about what was at the top, I was just taking it one step at a time. If I looked up ahead of me and saw the never-ending set of stairs, I would start to feel exhausted, but when I just looked down at the one step ahead of me, I felt fine. After what felt like a million stairs, the stone steps stopped and a treacherous trail began.  Okay, treacherous is an overstatement for dramatic effect.  A trail nonetheless was a relieving break from the stairs and gave us hope we were near the top.  It was still quite a hike before the trail leveled off onto a grassy patch  that seemed to be the top.  Yes, it was that anti-climactic that we weren't even sure we'd made it to the top.  However, I felt no disappointment.  I was overjoyed that we had made it to the top despite the haze that prevented us from seeing the backdrop of the Himalayan Mountain Ranges. We laid in the soft green grass under the sunshine and allowed our pulses to regulate and our bodies to rest.  We breathed in the fresh, crisp air and laughed at ourselves.

Anything is possible.  Our approach to life is our choice and is what determines our experience here.  Fearlessly allowing our true vision to surface.  Letting doubt slip away as we patiently and confidently move, one step at a time while letting go of the expectation of a certain outcome. For then, it doesn't matter if there is a temple or not - We are just happy to be here now. 

 

Life is good.  I mean that.  Life is amazing. 

Why do we suffer? What is is that truly causes us anger, sadness, discomfort, fear? Why did we believe it when someone told us, "life is hard?"  That is the biggest fallacy of humankind. Life is work. Life is messy. Life is not always easy, or kind, of fair.  But life is good. 

Really none of this is any secret.  The big "secret" to life, the key to happiness?  Sitting right under our nose.  Or, under our feet really.  Despite our constant haggling about who is right about God (the unnecessary bloodshed, catastrophic loss of human life), there is no denying the absolutely amazing, perfect and Divine work of Mother Nature.  Whatever house in which you worship, whatever party you register as, witnessing the cycle of a garden is a Miracle. Sitting near a river watching the vast, silent and complex eco-systems is a Miracle.  I was blown away when I learned that forest fires actually help support the health of a forest.  What needs to go, Mother Nature takes care of.  Nature is a miracle.  She's bountiful, resilient, and generous. We're part of that insurance policy by being here on this earth. How luck we are! 

And somehow we certainly do a good job at making life hard.  We even seem to enjoy giving ourselves things to worry about. We've created schedules that are too full for a walk in the park, a swim in the ocean, an afternoon under a tree with no one to talk to but the birds.  We've come up with every excuse in the book to keep us from stillness.  Silence. A chance to deeply connect with our Selves and to deeply connect with the living world around us.  In fact, despite our technological advances in science, industry and medicine, it seems to me that the world is a far more dangerous place today than possibly ever.  And that came from us.  That is man-made. We are sick, unhappy, and most unfortunate unfulfilled. 

Alas, each day we have countless opportunities to change that. Each and every moment there is a chance to wake up. Shift our perspective, shift our awareness, shift our experience with life. I have found that connecting to Earth, has helped me to make this shift; to connect with myself, my inner visions and a depth of Spirit I could never convey in words.  This shift has transformed me in a way I hope for all the people I know and love to experience for themselves.  To find love in each person, moment, place. To have complete, unconditional, undeniable faith.  To truly treat the other beings around us as we wish to be treated. To share. To learn. To shed and harbored judgment, patterns or habits that are destructive to our soul. To be patient with each other and with ourselves. For that's when life gets good.

Despite all that moves in the other direction, even amidst a world with a fast pace to a certain, yet unknown destination, I feel compelled to slow down and pay attention.  I find myself noticing things for the very first time, whether it is the refreshing scent of my fingers after peeling an orange, or something deep within myself that I never saw before. In each new environment, each new moment, what I always come back to is a new understanding of myself. It's as if all that is around me, the people, places, events, and opportunities, are all mirrors showing me different pieces of myself. How I respond to these outer experiences reflects where I am with myself.  Do I react quickly out of a place of anger? Or do I stay present and aware, breathing and coming back to love? Do I make assumptions, or do I ask questions to seek understanding? Do I criticize and/or judge myself, or do feel trust and confidence in myself?  Asking questions like these has helped me to understand myself in a way that is deep, vast and enlivening.

As a new year begins to unfold around us, I embrace this opportunity to check in with myself'; look at the different parts of my life and notice what's there.  Letting go of the reflex to judge or criticize, and just embrace all that I am.  With a deep and grounded relationship with myself, I choose new commitments that I feel will support my growth, and I re-evaluate old patterns that may be stifling me.

Remembering I can always come back to breath, connect in with what I feel my Source is and know it is all good. Life is not something to move through with fear, anger or misery.  Life is to be loved, and we are meant to love.

Like I tree, I yearn to for strong roots, connecting me to my Source.  With a sturdy trunk, helping me to stand tall. With branches that reach up, up, up, stretching towards the light without a question or doubt as to where or how. If an acorn ever knew the job that lay ahead, do you think it would believe it would grow into an Oak tree?

In gratitude to all of you for moving along your journeys, spreading you love and light.  Shine on. 

May we slowly dissolve the world we've created that separates us from Divinity and connect closer to the miracle of life that connects us all as  
one human family.