Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Slowly, clarity engulfs me.  Ebbing and flowing like the tides of the ocean, tickling the shores of my soul, reaching into the darkness, into the places I have felt confused, uncertain or insecure.

The places I have felt paralyzed by the unknown, are slowly being opened up into the light.  By choosing to turn within, the wisdom I have discovered has begun to answer the questions I have been carrying around for so long.

 In places I feel a lack of direction, I am navigated by this deep-seeded sense of guidance.  I realize more and more each day that by turning within myself, it all makes sense.  By giving my body, my mind and my spirit just what it needs - nothing more, nothing less- they come into balance and perform at the most optimal level.  When this balance tips, this is manifested in some feeling of discomfort, pain, or dissatisfaction. I notice these feelings without shame or guilt.  I take time to explore these feelings unattached to judgment of Self. 

The beauty of Nature, the beauty of Life, is that this force is always working to maintain balance. 

We can always come back to a state of balance. Balance in mind, body and spirit. Balance with the environment around us. And ahh, if we all worked to achieve this balance wouldn't this world be beautiful?

When we are aware, we are alive.

I've had the same screen saver on my desktop for almost a year.  It's a picture of the boys who lived at the orphanage in Nepal with Goma, the house mom.  They are lined up in the backyard, which was really a concrete lot with some dirt and patches of grass. I look at this picture every time I open my computer, yet I can't remember the last time I actually saw it. It happened tonight, without even meaning too.  I stopped for an extra second and took time to see t it.  I allowed myself to go back to those moments when I was there.  I felt the warm, moist air, heard the laughter, smelled the scent of burning garbage mixed with incense.  I looked at each of the faces in the picture; the uniqueness of each boy captured in the photograph. I realized that the boys probably look so much different now.  A year does a lot to you at 8 years old. A year. Can it be? These precious moments could have been easily missed had I not taken just one extra second to look.  This makes me wonder, if I applied this level of awareness to each of my interactions with the world around me, how different would my experience be? 

Driving up the coast of Southern Oregon recently I enjoyed delicious moments of clarity, as I shared deep gratitude for the beauty of Nature.  I was alone in the car and didn't have a camera on me.  I had no way of capturing the breathtaking views or someone else to share in the experience. I found myself completely present with each bend in the road, the rolling waves, the vast, turquoise Pacific.  There is no way to describe the feeling of being next to a tree that is 2000 years old. My words will not do justice the dramatic coastline dotted with sea stacks that mark a time long before the planet was in a state of such imbalance. There were times when it felt like I was the only human for miles and miles.  This evoked a feeling of safety and freedom, and at the same time was a bit overwhelming. I had lots of breakthroughs on this drive, my mind free to wander wherever it pleased and my soul feeling nourished and expansive.  Presently aware of the environment around me, not distracted by the task of attempting to capture it and hold on to it for later, I actually saw it. I felt it. I was there for it.  The wisdom of the trees, the power of the ocean, the perfection of nature; this system that exists in perfect harmony with every being that is a part of it.  This awareness that I chose to cultivate, allowed me to have a deeper, more intimate experience with what was unfolding around me.  Free of expectation, letting go of the worries that attempted to be a part of it, I saw the Divine in everything.  I was reminded of how blessed we are to be part of such a perfectly intricate system. This reminder washed away my petty concerns and replaced them with a sense of hope.  Hope for humanity. Hope for a time when we come together as one.  Hope for our children and future generations. Hope.

Awareness is a tool that will open your heart and awaken your mind.  Awareness is cultivated by being present in the Now. Finding a moment of stillness. Taking a conscious breath. Awareness will help us to not just look at what's around us, but to see it; not just hear what is going on around us, but to listen to it; not just be a part of what is unfolding around us, but to participate in it. We each have a very important role here, and if anyone has tried to convince you otherwise, it's time to shift that belief.  We each have an incredibly important job here on this planet.  As one of the most highly evolved species, we have done a piss-poor job taking care of our Earth. Taking care of ourselves for that matter.  We place this responsibility on others. Other systems, other people, other. Yet, the responsibility is our own.  To care for our bodies, our minds, our spirits and our planet.  By bringing awareness into your every moment, you will begin to find yourself caring at a level deeper and more rewarding than before.  Awareness is a huge part of rising consciousness, and at this point, with the planet in the state that it is in, we all need to be raising our consciousness.

Breathe. Awareness is a tool that is at your beckon call.  Use it wisely, use it often.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Journey with me...

I'm in a meadow on top of a hill.  It's sunny and warm and the grass is soft.  The sky is vibrant blue and there is a slight breeze that whispers through the surrounding trees.  From over the ledge of the hill I can see the tops of other hills and mountains in the distance, and as I take in the view I notice a set of stairs leading down the hill. The stairs are made of stone and they look worn and inviting. Without a seed of doubt I approach the top step.  From below I can hear the sound of the ocean and smell the salty air.  I feel the warmth swell up and take off some layers I feel are no longer necessary.  More comfortable, I step down another step.  Here I empty some parcels out of my bag to lighten my load.  With each step down I continue to peel off layers and unload my burdens until at the very bottom I am holding on to nothing and completely exposed.  The beach is bathed in an orange light as the sun hangs low over the horizon.  The sand is soft and as I walk to a place to sit down I leave small footprints.  The dramatic cliff behind me wraps around this beach creating a safe cove.  I am filled with a sense of being completely exposed while feeling deeply at peace. In this vast place of safety and trust I begin to pull from within me the thoughts, things, experiences, people, and places that cause me to feel tense. Nervous. Scared. Unworthy. Incapable. I take these pieces from within me and I spread them out on the sand around me.  With each piece the feelings accompanied with them surface as well. At first I feel myself contract and want to go racing back up the stairs where I never had to look at these things.  But I come back to my breath. The warmth of the sunshine. The sound of the waves. I feel myself open and relax.  Warm tears slide down my face and the feeling of relief rushes through me as I allow myself to just be.  Be with the pain. Be with the discomfort. Be with the fear. Be. There is nothing I need to do, nothing I need to work on.  As I sit there in the sand, I am aware of everything I need to know. I'm aware that I have everything I need and I am able of letting go of everything I do not need.  In this moment I cultivate the power within myself to accomplish my deepest desires.  I cultivate the power within myself to find peace with who I am, where I am, and what I am doing.  Right now.  I notice a rising sense of gratitude.  It engulfs me with warm radiance.  Gratitude for this moment. Gratitude for myself. Gratitude for my journey. Gratitude for all the teachers in my life. Gratitude for all the wisdom that Life delivers to me. Deep, deep gratitude.  I know when to get up from my seat, slowly and with intention.  Not because a certain amount of time has gone by, for there has been no sense of time at all here in this sacred space.  I get up when I feel nourished and complete.  I bow to Mama Ocean in her vast, deep, mysterious beauty. I walk back up to the bottom steps and peer back over my shoulder.  The waves reach up and wash away what I've left behind on the sand.  My footsteps are the only remnants of my presence there. I begin to climb the stairs back up the hill, choosing to pass by what I took off on my way down.  Not feeling the need to pick up my parcels,  as I am equipped with newly cultivated treasures of power and gratitude, knowing this is all I need.  

We all have a sacred place to visit.  A space where we can lay out our Truth and expose our whole selves.  A space where we can let go. 


The power within you is waiting to be cultivated.