Lightening my load.

I am having a really interesting breakthrough lately and I tried to write about it earlier, but I wasn't in the right space for it.  The intention was good, and I genuinely could sense the desire to share what I was experiencing, but I just felt kind of numb. However, I'm feeling a bit more in touch now.

Something that has been gnawing at me lately is the idea that I all too often think about what other people think about me.  In fact, I think I consider it way too much.  In many instances, I first think about how other people think, instead of how I think. In fact, not only do I think about what other people think, but I worry about what other people think. I may even make decisions based on what other people think. In all honesty, I think it's something I've done my entire life without even realizing it, and now that I am at a really open, honest place with myself I need to let this habit go.  Even just being aware that I do this, however, I can already sense a shift.  Allowing myself to acknowledge that this is a pattern for me, something that I do, I can feel it start to unhinge from inside of me.  It's not fun to look at this in the face, but I do believe it will be worth it for me.  I'm in a very important place where it's crucial that I do not worry about what other people think, because in the end I am the one living this life.  It seems so obvious, and this may be something that not everyone struggles with. For me though, I feel like I'm beginning to realize just how much of a burden this is to me.  A burden I am very ready to unload.


Mantra
It is a blessing in disguise that I am in this position,
even though at times I have fear and doubt. 
I accept myself in this moment for all that I am
and I allow myself to surrender to the abundance that is around me.