The patterns woven into our tapestry of life.

There's no doubt that something has been keeping me away.  I keep finding excuses to avoid writing and I'm not sure why.  I think maybe it's because I'm aware of the density of what I've been experiencing and I'm slightly daunted by the task of trying to articulate myself using the English language.  Lately I've been able to express myself through dance, prayer, meditation, and conversation.  Writing has been a medium I've been avoiding. 

Alas, life has settled in around me in a way that allows for so much reflection, so much learning and for that I am so deeply grateful. So here I am, driven by the desire to share with you what I've been learning in the hopes that it stokes your own beautiful flames.  

As of late, I've been recognizing the patterns that are woven into my life; noticing habits that have formed over time. I've been taking a look at how these patterns serve me, and how they shape my interaction with the world around me. Patterns of setting expectations.  Patterns of attachment to things, people, experiences places. Patterns of re-acting(which is an action from the past) instead of responding.  Patterns of communcaition with myself and with the world around me.

Recognizing these patterns has been a challenging inward experience for me, during which I've had to face some of my own demons.  Yet, like all that Life gives us, I find the challenge of self-exploration to be a journey of freedom. We are brought into this world that was dreamt up by others.  We exist in a community, society and world that may not jive with our own inner essense. From very early on we are conditioned by the world around us to exist in a certain way.  We form habits and patterns that help (or hinder) our interaction with the world around us.

However, as we journey down our path of awakening, we may realize that these patterns no longer serve us.  They may have helped us survive middle school, or the dinner table, but as unique beings of light and love, it is time to let these patterns go. We are waking up and shaking off those things that hold us back form shining our light.  So I encourage you, my fellow warriors of light, crusading down your own path of awakening, take some time to reflect on your own patterns.  How do you percieve things? How do you communicate with those around you? How do you communicate with yourself? Remember, we create the reality we live in.  By continuing to come from a place of love, gratitude, and generiousity, the world will reflect all of that back to you. We get to choose each day, how we will interact with the people, places, things and experience that happen.  If there is something that is causing static, a feeling of discomfort - perhaps it is a pattern that no longer fits. 

In order to truly shine, we must remember to continue to polish.

Expectation, how do you serve me? You creep into my mind displaying images that do not exist, evoking feelings that are not real, creating shadows of sensations. I attempt to use you as a solid foundation, yet like a castle built on sand, you dissipate in the tide leaving only a faint hint of what how you looked in my mind. I have noticed a deep-seeded pattern with you, Expectation. Or perhaps you are the product of other habits. I create Expectations things, people, places, experiences, without even realizing it sometimes. Then after say, an encounter with someone, or a trip someplace, I'm left with this empty feeling of longing. After exploring this I realize it's because the experience did not match up with how I expected it to be.

Ahh how good it feels to let go of expectations. Of course, it does not matter how I expect things to be, but rather how I experience what is going on around me.