From the West Coast.

Moved. Transitioned(ing?).  Plucked up, re-planted.  All of this planning, preparation, organizing and THINKING goes into this and then BAM all of a sudden it's just happening.  One thing I have come to understand about myself is that I am a slow-processor. What I mean by that is, some people can just be in a situation and react to it.  For me, it takes some time for me to digest it and then react.  This morning I woke up and didn't realize where I was at first.  Then slowly things began to fall into place.  As I began to move about the morning and feel my feet under me, I could tell I wasn't quite present.  I was sort of putting my feelers out there, but not quite feeling yet. If that makes any sense. Eventually, as if I just needed to warm up, I began to feel myself coming to, waking up, becoming present in the moment.  It felt good.

Let's get some specifics out on the table so we are all on the same page here: I moved from Cambridge, MA to Portland, OR. No job, not attending school, just came to come. I have a wonderful living situation out here and some amazing friends. As different and far away as I feel, it also feels completely good to be here.  I was craving different, I was craving new and a bit crazy.  However, I will admit my ego speaks up every now and then saying "don't you want to claim this as your own, how can we do that?" I can tell this part of me, my ego-self, wants a sense of identity here.  Something to call my own.  Instead, I am willing and ready to allow this leg of my journey to be transient. I had the solid ground, I had the routine and I decided to leave that behind. While all of this jibber jabber is going on in my mind, I want to listen to my heart. What is it that I really want? I'm here, in a community I feel so connected to already, surrounded by people with similar ideals and values and could easily find myself wanting to actually put some roots down.  Is that ego talking though? Because I also have this part of my that wants to fly.  I do feel a bit confused, fuzzy and torn as to what I want. Ya know, just in case you couldn't tell.

I'm going to stay present, I'm going to breath, and I'm going to listen to my heart.