Sometimes I find myself lost in a process of thought that brings me not just out of the present moment, but into an entirely different reality of "what to do next." In other words, an experience of evaluating my current status by determining what I am going to do, rather than what I am currently doing. Or even more accurately - how I am currently being. Funny how my mind does that! Trained to focus on the future, well versed in the language of then rather than now. Ah! How often I catch myself overlooking the the sprouting dream seeds - of even more so, those that are already in full bloom - and feeling guilty or overwhelmed by what I have not yet accomplished.
As with everything, this is both a blessing and a lesson. The sometimes youthfully expressed eager part of myself has a purpose indeed! She makes excellent, well organized, thoroughly doodled project lists which really DO help to organize the focused, centered and motivated part of myself. Certainly I am full of dreams, passions and prayers. Truly, My imagination is an infinite world of vibrant vision and limitless possibility and somehow this must translate into the physical world for it to mean anything or serve any practical purpose. For me this is a process which includes both motivation and overwhelment (you'll not find this word in a dictionary, but I simply cannot bring myself to replace it. It works.) I experience a stage of pure excitment - YES! new inspiration! A bright, beautiful vision, fresh off the press not yet dimmed by insecurity and hesitation. Not yet staled out by impatience and loss of focus. Because for me, that's the next phase. My excitement level generally correlates with the amount the feeling of urgency to see this vision through. Immediately. No, I don't have time to actually DO any of this, I'm busy! Aren't we yet to the point where we can hold an intention in our consciousness and then POOF we have our dream come true!
Alas, both are true actually. Because, at least in my experience, while I am caught up in this mental place of evaluating what I have not yet done in contrast to all I yearn to do, life is unfurling. Dreams are blooming into fruition, ideas are budding, and CREATE-ivity is becoming reality. Without the lense of what's next I am able to see what's now. I am able to breathe present state of my reality which is, without exception, a complete reflection of what I have chosen to focus on. My life is both a mirror and a map. If I so choose, I can see exactly who I am, what is going on inside of me, and what may be blocking me or supporting me in my life. I am also able to guide myself through the illusion of indecision, referring to the inner compass within me that is responsible for landing me into this present reality. When I pay attention I can see the places I've been lost and the signs I followed which lead me astray. Yes, my life is both a mirror and a map.
So this revelation and understanding brings me to the promise to myself that I will continue to do my best. I will continue to practice balance in the eager desire to create a perfect reality right now, with focused motivation and the vision of what I know I am here to create. That would be peace, abundance, beauty and joy. Yes humans, that is our....or I'll speak for myself, this is my purpose. Everything else is simply a vessel for these energies and qualities to come through. I do believe, of course, that happiness breeds happiness, love cultivates love, and beauty grows beauty.
As with everything, this is both a blessing and a lesson. The sometimes youthfully expressed eager part of myself has a purpose indeed! She makes excellent, well organized, thoroughly doodled project lists which really DO help to organize the focused, centered and motivated part of myself. Certainly I am full of dreams, passions and prayers. Truly, My imagination is an infinite world of vibrant vision and limitless possibility and somehow this must translate into the physical world for it to mean anything or serve any practical purpose. For me this is a process which includes both motivation and overwhelment (you'll not find this word in a dictionary, but I simply cannot bring myself to replace it. It works.) I experience a stage of pure excitment - YES! new inspiration! A bright, beautiful vision, fresh off the press not yet dimmed by insecurity and hesitation. Not yet staled out by impatience and loss of focus. Because for me, that's the next phase. My excitement level generally correlates with the amount the feeling of urgency to see this vision through. Immediately. No, I don't have time to actually DO any of this, I'm busy! Aren't we yet to the point where we can hold an intention in our consciousness and then POOF we have our dream come true!
Alas, both are true actually. Because, at least in my experience, while I am caught up in this mental place of evaluating what I have not yet done in contrast to all I yearn to do, life is unfurling. Dreams are blooming into fruition, ideas are budding, and CREATE-ivity is becoming reality. Without the lense of what's next I am able to see what's now. I am able to breathe present state of my reality which is, without exception, a complete reflection of what I have chosen to focus on. My life is both a mirror and a map. If I so choose, I can see exactly who I am, what is going on inside of me, and what may be blocking me or supporting me in my life. I am also able to guide myself through the illusion of indecision, referring to the inner compass within me that is responsible for landing me into this present reality. When I pay attention I can see the places I've been lost and the signs I followed which lead me astray. Yes, my life is both a mirror and a map.
So this revelation and understanding brings me to the promise to myself that I will continue to do my best. I will continue to practice balance in the eager desire to create a perfect reality right now, with focused motivation and the vision of what I know I am here to create. That would be peace, abundance, beauty and joy. Yes humans, that is our....or I'll speak for myself, this is my purpose. Everything else is simply a vessel for these energies and qualities to come through. I do believe, of course, that happiness breeds happiness, love cultivates love, and beauty grows beauty.
Trusting in the now. Holding the vision of what is becoming.
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