Every new beginning...

There are moments when I don't feel anything at all. Then there are moments when I am completely overcome with emotion I can't move. I can't really breathe. I have been talking about this and thinking about this for so long and now it's all happening and it's happening fast. With every picture I take off the wall, every book off the shelf I am slowly taking my life here and packing it up. I am taking my things and leaving this place to someone else, for their story to fill this space, decorate these walls, and call this place home. What's even more intense is the thought that next time I wear this, or use this, I'll be so far away from everything I am used to. I won't be here. What makes this experience different than any of the other bajillion times I've moved is that I am leaving this place a completely different person than when I came.

I think this blog is beginning to take a certain twist and I just want you to know I recognize it's happening. I'm beginning to take you on a journey with me, or maybe that's been going on the whole time I'm not sure. But I feel that I don't want to stop writing. It's a type of companionship that I'm not used to.

Breath. In. Out. Wow. I haven't done that in a while. I've felt like the world is moving underneath me and the walls are coming down around me. And I would be lying if I didn't admit that part of me is scared. But not scared in a fearful, anxious way. Scared in an excited, calm, ready way. It's new to me. This is all new to me. I want to remember every moment and I feel so drawn to share it with you. I sort of feel that if you're reading this, there is something going on inside of you too. Something beautiful and something you can't ignore. That's the part of you I'm speaking to. So I pray that you come with me for a little while as I carve my way through this jungle. I'm not sure what direction we're going to go, I only know that I'm following truth. I also know that I'm going to go one step at a time.

Mantra

I let go of all I hold on to

so that I may jump into the current of life.